Looking through the window

For almost a year I have been trying to get a divorce from my husband.  I live paycheck to paycheck so the hopes of paying for a lawyer have been dim but there is a legal aid service here in Texarkana which I have been applying to.  I would submit an application, it would constantly be denied.  The process never went further than me “begging” the lawyer’s assistant to take my case.

In January of this year, the service stopped taking applications entirely due to an overload of cases and my hope began to dwindle.  I started calling divorce lawyers and their prices are very… extravagant.  I knew there was no way I could afford someone and opted to wait until legal aid opened back up.  At this point, I will refer you to my post:  Just Let Go.  (If you have not read it, please do so because it sets up this blog.)

So there I was, sitting in my car feeling God sweep over me, replacing my fear of letting go with the peace of controlled chaos.  That afternoon, the Lord quickened my spirit to call legal aid again.  They had started taking applications again so I submitted one.   I had let him go and was finally ready to move on with my life and move into the things God had for me.  I just KNEW His hands were all over this application and it would move effortlessly through the system until it landed on the lawyer’s desk.

My hopes continued to rise as I was called by the lawyer’s assistant for an interview.  (Normally, this happens AFTER I appeal my application denial several times.)  I answered all her questions trying to not beg but feeling too desperate to stay calm.  My husband will be out in a few short months and my desperation came out of trying to protect my son from his grasp.  She expressed that they would decide within 10 days whether or not they would accept it.

10 days later, my fate was hand delivered by way of the postal service.  “I’m sorry Mrs. Works but we cannot take your case due to a lack of personnel… blah, blah, blah…”   I had heard it before and as I began to read it, my heart sunk down to my feet.

But GOD, You told me to reapply.  You gave me the peace.  You got my hope up… And now it is laying in a sea of despair.

I was crushed… devastated… hopeless… confused…discouraged.  So many questions and nowhere near the answers I required.  I “vented” on Facebook and got several replies of “I’m sorry” and “I’m praying.”   Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine what would happen next.  In fact, almost a week later, I am still completely in shock and amazed.   A dear friend posted on my Facebook entry: “I’m going to make a call for you.  Call me in a bit.”

As instructed, I called her and she was sitting in a lawyer’s office, who just happened to be her good friend.  She said, “Shannon, God told me to help you so I called in a favor.”  I was to meet with him that afternoon.  I was in tears – just completely overwhelmed.

Had God really done this for me?  Had He turned the tides of favor in my direction once more?  But honestly, I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

As the day went on (before my meeting) I began to seek the Lord, asking Him why He had shut the door of legal aid in my face.  He then spoke ever so gently:  “When it seems as though I shut the door in your face, step back and assess the situation.  Begin to look for a window.”  So I did… Through my dear friend, Bonnie, I saw the window.  God said, “Now, I want your hands OFF the situation.  I just want you to watch through the window and see Me move on your behalf.”

To make a long story short, the lawyer has graciously opted to take my case for free.  All filing fees will be waived as I qualify financially for aid from the courts.  I have asked for very specific things in order to ensure my son’s safety and my lawyer said, “With the case against him, don’t even worry about it.”

Have doors shut in your face and left you hopeless?

I’m here to tell you, step back and begin to look for a window.  God came through for me and He WILL come through for you.  Trust Him through the storm.  Trust Him against all odds.  He will work it out on your behalf.  Resurrections look best in a graveyard.  Where there is no hope, God will get the most glory.

I haven’t even told you the coolest part.  The judge who will take our divorce case?  Well, he is the same one who has sentenced my dear husband to jail EVERY time for the last 7 years.  He knows my husband.  God said, “I told you, I just want you to watch.  You won’t even have to say a word.  I’m setting it up!”  Hallelujah!

And because I’m human, I still need reassurance.  Yesterday, the storm was brewing and I feel like I’m going to have a fight on my hands.  I “ran” across this verse in the amplified bible that I MUST share:

You’ll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance,
watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God’s your refuge,
the High God your very own home,
Evil can’t get close to you,
harm can’t get through the door.
He ordered his angels
to guard you wherever you go.
If you stumble, they’ll catch you;
their job is to keep you from falling.
You’ll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
and kick young lions and serpents from the path.
Ps 91:9-13

Be encouraged today…. God has not forsaken you.  He wants to receive all the glory out of your situation.  Step back and watch Him through the window!

#sharingHispeace